I do not like wearing a giant, bulky, cloth “key-key be-boo, be-boo” (stinky poo-poo diaper). A couple weeks ago, in the wrestling match with the cloth diaper, I was victorious, but naked. I just want a disposable diaper, but Mama says, “cloth diaper, or naked? Those are your only options, child.”
Apparently my sister did the same thing around 18 months old. After she peed on the floor a few times, she begged for her diaper. It wasn’t until she was 2, she started going on the potty. Then when Big Sis was 2 & 1/2, Mama laid down the law and said, “diapers are for bed-time only. If you want to be in the living room, you wear underwear.” Big Sis still continued to poop in her diaper everyday at nap time, until Mama gave up on putting her down a nap, since she never slept anyway.
Mama is not going to let me drag out the potty training for an entire year. So I was left naked, with no choice but to pee on the floor, multiple times a day. “Mama, wah-wah!” (water). Pointing franticly at the puddle on the floor. I make sure Mama cleans it up right away, because I don’t like messes. A few days ago, we were outside and Mama refused to clean up the wah-wah, so I had to find a rag and clean it up myself. Have you ever tried to scrub grass clean? It’s not easy to do, so I learned not to do wah-wah in the yard ever again.
On the first morning of nakedness, I only peed on the floor a couple times. But I was not dehydrated. I just waited until nap-time to flood my diaper and soak my clothing and sheets. I don’t like sleeping in a puddle. So I quickly learned not to do that.
On day two of nakey-butt, the need to poop was getting uncomfortable, so I begged for a “key-key” (stinky aka diaper). All Mama did was bring the little potty out to the living room so I could sit and watch sign language videos with my sister, while Mama made dinner. I couldn’t hold the poo-poo in anymore, so out it came and landed in the potty! Mama clapped and said, “good job, honey!” and gave me a “cah-key bee” (chocolate treat).
Ever since then, I have been pooping on the potty everyday between 11am and noon. Mama waits until after I poop to put me down for a nap. I don’t know why I wrote that last sentence, because I have no concept of time, nor have I caught onto this routine, otherwise I would wait to poop until later in the day and skip naps. Regardless, we all agree that poop in the potty is so much better than a poopy diaper!
So here we are, day 14 as Princess Nakey-butt. Now I announce “pie-pie” (potty) as I run off towards the bathroom. I clap and congratulate myself, “ga-bog!” (good job). Then I return triumphantly announcing, “Wah-wah! Bee? Cah-key?” (Water! Treat? Chocolate?) Big sis runs to the bathroom and yells, “she really did go pee-pee, there’s yellow in her little potty!” Thank you for checking, but I am not smart enough to lie about these things.
Just now, I woke up from my nap. Mama asked if I wanted to go pee-pee on the potty. “Nyo!” So I sat on her lap while she typed this story for me (because I don’t know how to write yet). Then I saw Big Sis run off to go potty. I pointed to my diaper, “key-key ah,” (diaper off). Mama took it off and threw it out, even though it was dry, which feels like such a waste. I ran off to the bathroom to go potty like my sister. Big Sis announced, “I went potty, and made her want to go potty too, so I get chocolate for helping her go potty!”
You see, back when Mama was potty training Big Sis, Mama ate chocolate all the time, saying, “I went potty, so I get chocolate.” It was highly motivational for Big Sis to go potty too. Mama tried that again with me. The problem is, Big Sis says, “Hey, I went potty. Can I have chocolate too?” So Mama had to make new rules. Whoever helps me go potty, gets chocolate. She is training Big Sis to ask me, “do you want to go potty?” That way Mama doesn’t have to.
Next up, I’m learning to wear underwear, which is very uncomfortable when wet, because it does not work like a diaper. Currently I’m naked again, carrying around a pair of clean undies. I can’t figure out how to put them on correctly, and I will not let anyone help me. because I am two years old and learning about independence.
