Back when Duane and I were engaged, I joined a women’s Bible study on a book called “Lies Women Believe” or something like that. Chapter after chapter, I thought “duh, of course that’s a lie.” Maybe sometimes I acted like that lie was true, but I did know it was a lie.
I agreed with the truths in the book until the chapter called something like “I get to decide how many kids I’m going to have.” Apparently, the author (who is not married and doesn’t have any kids) thinks any form of birth control isn’t Biblical.
I do know several families who “trust God and see what happens.” They all have lots of kids. God created man and woman and said, “be fruitful and multiply” and well, that’s what happens.
But there are some people who probably shouldn’t have had kids in the first place. If you’re not being a good parent to the kids you have, you should probably stop having kids. Even if you’re a great parent, but you think having more would be too much. It is entirely up to you to decide how many kids is enough.
In our Bible study discussion, women shared how convicted they felt as they read the chapter. They had decided how many kids they wanted to have, and then they stopped. They never thought to ask God how many kids He wanted to give them. Biblical or not, it seems to be the American cultural norm. To only have as many kids as you want to have, or think you can handle.
Apparently the “perfect” family consists of one boy and one girl. If you have two kids of the same gender, people ask “are you going to try again for a boy (or girl).” As if child #2 was the wrong gender. Which makes me feel really bad for child #3 and #4 if they continue to be the same gender as #1 and #2.
If you’re going to have two kids, it seems more sensible to be the same gender. So they can be roommates and wear hand-me-downs. But people have this idea that unless you have at least one kid of each gender, you are missing out on some aspect of life or parenting.
For us, the perfect family is two daughters, because that is what God gave us, and He knows what is perfect for us!