We arrived early, so my husband and one of the Dads who was there as a volunteer, bonded over building Legos with their children and the other volunteer’s children.

Our family shared a cabin with some new friends who are also from Central Oregon. We had recently found each other on FaceBook, because their 1 year old daughter has a BAHA hearing aid, just like my 3 year old. So we had one play-date about a month ago. At the time, our 5 year old and their 8 year old seemed disinterested in actually playing together. However, they were very excited to see a familiar face at Family Camp. And quite disappointed that they had to be in separate kids classes. So much so, that they chose to spend the afternoon session in the parent’s class, sitting next to each other and coloring quietly.

Little PipSqueek usually follows Big Sis around, but Big Sis was busy with her big-kid friend. So Saturday, at breakfast, PipSqueek stuck close to Mama and Dada, until she was greeted by a very social 2 year old. They bonded over their matching “Elsa” shoes which light up when they stomp their feet. It seemed they did not even notice each other’s headband and hearing aids. Or maybe they did and thought, “she looks likes me. Cool!” But then her extroverted friend ran off with an even more extrovert 4 year old, who has TCS just like our daughter. 

I had been wondering if children who have hearing loss tend to be more introvert, but my theory went out the window the minute those two little girls entered the dining hall. Then another one of our Facebook friends arrived. A family whose daughter was born 1 month after ours and also diagnosed with TCS. They stayed in the same Ronald McDonald house while their baby was in the same NICU. But we had already gone home before their daughter was born. However we found each other on FB and them met in person two years ago. When we both happened to be at the Children’s Hospital on the exact same day, having our consultation with the Cleft Palate Surgeon. So we briefly chatted in the waiting room between all our appointments.

Now 2 years later, it was as if our girls recognized each other and already knew just how much they have in common. Both are a bit shy and seemed content to watch the more extrovert children run laps around the dinning hall.

PipSqueek and her “twin” had the choice to go to the 3-5 year old class or to the baby class. Us mama’s both felt our girls would do better with the younger children. 

Half way through the morning session, I was summoned to take PipSqueek to go potty. Her teacher said she had been hiding in the corner and thought she might be trying poop. Playing in a corner alone is pretty normal for her in childcare settings. But she did need to go potty as well. 

She told me she wanted her sister, but switching classes mid-morning was not an option, in my opinion. She chose instead to stay with Mama and eat a snack. I moved to the front row to give her a good view of the sign language interpreters. After snack, I asked if she wanted to go back to her classroom to play. She agreed, reluctantly. I dropped her off in the nursery, thinking maybe we should try going with Big Sis to the preschool class during the afternoon session. But as I said earlier, Big Sis ended up skipping class, so she and her new friend could stay together and color.

At lunch time, when I picked PipSqueak up from class, her teacher said she had been having so much fun with her “twin” playing fetch with the ball. So I decided to put her in the same class for the afternoon session. Most babies were napping, so it was just our “twins” and a couple other children. Again my daughter had such a great time. 

We spent our free time, at the local pumpkin patch, practicing our sling-shot skills, and playing “Marco-Polo” in the corn maze. Which is extra challenging for people who do not have directional hearing.

The next morning at breakfast, PipSqueek begged to go play in her classroom.  This is the first time she not only asked to go to her class, but grabbed my hand, pulling me towards her classroom, demanding “go play my class, right now!” Her “twin” was not here the second day. None-the-less my daughter was happy to go play in her class now that she had warmed up to the environment and the teachers.

Her teacher said she was not sure how much Language my daughter had, since she was so quiet. So the teacher had been signing with her. But now, she got to listen to my daughter babble to herself while playing with various toys.

It makes my heart so happy to know that my daughter felt comfortable to be her true self. That is so rare, maybe even non-existent outside our home. It felt like she found her tribe in a group of toddlers who all had hearing loss and adults who were used to interacting with such children. A small group of just a couple children per adult, who got down on her level, talking and signing. 

That experience solidified, that our family needs to learn more Sign Language. Also, that a small classroom setting, ie homeschool, is the best education style for my daughter. So it feels like we are on the right track…

and of course, we are looking forward to attending Family Camp again next year

The post Hands and Voices, our first Family Camp experience appeared first on The Baha Mama.

“Is it 7:30?” I asked.

“No,” Monkey replied, “but sometimes I wake up before 7:30 and play in my room until it’s morning time.”

“Ok. So why are you in my room?” I asked.

“I had a cool dream last night!” She announced. “I dreamed about Christmas! There were Christmas things. And my friend opened his Christmas present and it was new Clothing!”

Back when I was a kid, I thought receiving clothing for Christmas was a waste of my parent’s Christmas budget. Aren’t they obligated to provide clothing for me? Don’t wrap it up and call in a Christmas gift. Spend that money on toys! Unlike me, Monkey loves clothing, especially hand-me-downs from her friends. Wearing a shirt which used to belong to one of your best friends. What could be better than that? So seeing her friend unwrap clothing for Christmas, is a pretty cool dream for a four year old.

I love my daughter’s excitement and the sense of wonder. It’s only October, but already I am getting excited about Christmas too. Usually I am annoyed by the thought of cold and snow and icy roads. But this child of mine brings a new (or renewed) sense of wonder and joy. I have Pine & Peppermint oils in the defuser. And don’t tell anyone, but we are already listening to Lindsay Stirring’s Christmas music. And it’s only October.

Everyday Monkey excitedly makes random announcements:

• Our tree has red leaves!
• I saw leaves fall off our tree! That means it is Fall. And soon it will be Christmas!
• There is frost on the ground. Does that mean it’s winter now?
• How many days until Christmas?
• We need to cook our pumpkins.
• How soon after we eat pumpkin pie, will it be Christmas?

For the first time in history, our family is settled at home for Christmas. We are not in India, buying a plane ticket with no idea where we are going to live once we get to the USA. We are not developing crazy food allergies the middle of a cross-country road trip. We are not drowning in milk and exhausted just trying to feed a newborn. We are not planning a surgery. We are just here. At home. No major trips, or events, or surgery to get over with before we can start thinking about Christmas. It’s quite lovely.

The next big thing to anticipate is: Christmas! After we eat our pumpkin pie, of course.

The post It is almost Christmas! appeared first on The Baha Mama.

Back again 6 months later, I settled into our room with mixed feelings. Thankful for our home away from home, but wondering, how many more times we will return? What memories will we make here? Will we celebrate more birthdays here?

Lioness birth took over Duane’s entire birthday month. Now her 6 month check-up landed on my birthday (that’s what I get for teasing Duane about not wanting to share his month with her). Her next check-up (at 9-10 months old) should be around Monkey’s birthday. Monkey would love to go hotela and hopital for her birthday! She has fond memories of playrooms and riding “train-tracks.” She has a great time here, even though spending all day at the hospital gets exhausting.

Meanwhile PipSqueak already hates being poked and prodded. She will probably dread hearing tests and surgeries and recoveries.

We will always try to make the trip as fun as possible for both the girls. With hikes and waterfalls on the drive, and lots of family time in the city. I hate that we have to be here. But I do miss this place when we finally get to go home and return to our normal lives.

The post Bitter-sweet Birthday Blessings appeared first on The Baha Mama.

A couple weeks later, a girl asked the dread-head to give her dreads. Suddenly, I blurted out “can I have dreads too?” All my friends looked at me in shock. Becky with dreads?!

Of all people, I was the last person anyone expected to ever get dreads. I don’t even know why I said that, the words just fell out of my mouth, but dreads made sense. Costa Rica was hot, humid, and windy. My hair was long, thick, sweaty and sticky, and we didn’t have hot water for showers. I hate washing my hair in cold showers, because it’s just so cold! I had the same hair-cut pretty much my whole life. Grow my hair long for 3 years, and then cut it off for Locks-Of-Love, and then grow it long again. At the time, my hair was quite long and I was ready to do something new, different.

Having dreadlocks was freeing and challenging at the same time. It broke me as a neat-freak, because my hair was pretty crazy. For a few weeks, I was startled by my own reflection every time I walked past the mirror.

I no longer looked like a quiet, shy homeschooler. Suddenly random strangers would initiate conversations with me – saying “nice hair” or asking if I had or wanted drugs. Usually I was confused and a friend had to tell me “they are asking about drugs.” Did I mention I was homeschooled?

I planned to brush out the dreadlocks before returning to the USA, but all my friends back home were saying, “I can’t wait to see you with dreads.” So I kept them.

I met Duane, who loved my dreads. He saw me as the fun-loving, adventurous person who I had become, as my personality grew to match my hair style.

I had dreadlocks at our wedding. It was a easy hairstyle for living in India. It worked nicely for childbirth, and those first few months of parenthood when I didn’t have time to wash my hair anyway. Dreads made it easy to live out of our camper-van on our 3 month road trip. It is pretty great to roll out of bed and know my hair looked great. Or at least exactly the same as it always looks.

My hair always looked exactly the same. For 6 years. It gets kind of boring after a while.

The only change was my dreads did get longer, and heavier. I finally cut them shorter. I didn’t like how it looked, but it sure felt lighter! When our home-visit nurse came for Lioness’s weekly weight-check, I weighed the ziplock bag of cut-off dreads. It was half a pound. That’s a lot of extra weight for my poor head and neck to be carrying around.

Everyone we’ve meet since moving to Oregon, only knows me as the Becky with dreads. It’s like they don’t actually know the “real” me, the “normal” me. Not that my hairstyle makes me any more or less “me.”

I feel like our family is entering a new season of life. I’m not the same crazy person who moved to India on our honeymoon, or took a 3 month old baby on a 3 month road trip to 25 states and Canada living out of our camper van. Were we crazy? I feel smarter now. Or at least I have a higher value for staying sane.

At almost 30 years old, I’m starting to feel like a real adult. I’m no longer “playing house.” I’m making a home for our family. I have children now! How did that happen?!

A couple times a week, I have a wrestling match with my 2 1/2 year old in effort to brush her hair. If we brushed her hair every day like normal people, it wouldn’t be so tangly. “If you don’t let me brush your hair, you’re going to end up with dreadlocks like Mama.” Monkey looks at me, thinking “I don’t understand the problem.”

So I showed Monkey what happens when you don’t brush your hair for six years. I spent two weeks brushing out one dreadlock at a time. I took about 30 minutes per dread. I had 50 dreads, so that’s 25+ hours spent brushing my hair. It gave me something to do while I was pumping milk a bajillion times a day. Of course Monkey got mad at me for brushing my hair instead of playing train tracks. I asked, “do you want me to brush your hair, or brush my hair.” Her response “you no bush my hair! Bush your hair you!” That’s what I thought.

Now when I wake up, not only do I have to decide what I’m going to wear, I also have to figure out what to do with my hair. That takes a lot of decision-making brain power first thing in the morning. There’s lots of options of hairstyles out there.

I should probably schedule some sort of hair cut/trim, but currently my hair is a lot more curly than I remember it being, so you can’t tell it’s all different lengths. I’m doing good to have bought a hairbrush, but when I brush my hair, it gets really poofy! But if I brush it when it’s wet, it drys in these fun crimpy curls, which I really like! I have no idea where the curls came from, but I hope it stay this way.

The post Knot so Dreadful appeared first on The Baha Mama.

When was I first attracted to Duane? Was our walk in the woods with Josiah discussing the upcoming school we were running? Or the hike to the cross with some friends? Was it when I bought beads at Portland’s hippie market and Duane helped put them in my dreads? Or when a kid from NYC gave me a hug and I saw how protective Duane got (thankyou!)? Or when I was sick in San Francisco, and Duane’s concern would have made you think I was dying?

In Mendocino, all our road trip friends were looking forward to going to the beach. But a couple girls decided to go shopping, some of the guys wanted to sit and read, and a couple others ran back to the van to get something. Suddenly it was just Duane and I walking along the beach, then sitting on a log and talking for hours as we watched the sun set over the ocean. It was the most romantic evening of my life, but I didn’t know if he even noticed.

When Duane had offered his hand to help me climb over a log, my independent spirit rose up. I didn’t need his help! But I accepted it anyway. Taking his hand didn’t make me feel weak or helpless, instead somehow I felt stronger, and more feminine at the same time. Just being around him made me feel more beautiful, creative, and more alive. I had recently heard of “joy” defined as “piercing longing.” That is how I now felt – painfully wonderful. I reminded myself to guard my heart (whatever that means) and take it slow, since I’d known him less than 2 months. Besides, what if he doesn’t even like me? Do I even like him? Yes, I think so.

Everything about Duane seemed so amazing. His leadership skills, experience working overseas, a heart for the people of north India and Himalayas, the fun way he interacted with children, and his love for outdoor adventures, hiking, biking, and rock climbing. He’s confident, not cocky, but secure in his identity. He has a great sense of humor and makes me laugh. While he is funny, he also knows when to be serious. He was willing and eager to hear my input on decisions about the road trip. He treated me well – opening the door, or offering a hand when climbing over logs. He wants to not only be a leader, but raise up others in leadership.

I stayed up late that night talking with God about Duane, because there was one big thing which made me hesitant about falling in love with him – Treacher Collins Syndrome.

Did I really want to date (and possibly marry) a guy with no cheek bones, a hearing aid, and prosthetic ears? How would I feel standing next to him, everywhere we went? People were already staring at my dreadlocks, did I want to give them more reasons to stare at me?

That’s when I realized Duane is who he is because of the trials and things he had to overcome, and find his identity not in his appearance, but in Christ. If I had a TCS, I would have longed to be invisible, hoping no one would notice. Being made fun of would have crushed me. But not Duane, He rose above that, confident, being loud and funny, not caring what people thought of him. It is because of his TCS that I fell in love with Duane.

The post When Did You Fall In Love With Me? appeared first on The Baha Mama.

December 2010

Duane & I got engaged! We had met in Idaho, and in December I moved to Colorado (where he’s from). We spent Christmas apart, but New Year’s together on the East Coast introducing him to all my friends.

December 2011

Duane & I had spent 4 months living in India, and returned to the states suddenly for health reasons. (I went to the ER the day after we arrived in Colorado). With the death of our dream of living in India, and we had no idea what to do next, or where to live. We ended up house-sitting for friends in Idaho and re-joining the YWAM team there.

December 2012

Duane & I were supposed to lead a team to India, when I discovered Monkey was growing inside me! Not wanting to risk getting sick while pregnant, I stayed home alone while Duane was in India for the entire month of December. We were both sick over Christmas

December 2013

We took our 3-6 month old Monkey on a 3 month road trip to 25 states and Canada. The trip was cut short after I had developed anaphylactic reaction to peanuts and my body started freaking out about all sorts of food allergies. That resulted in spending Christmas together in our own home for the first time ever. Monkey had her first fever Christmas day On the bright side, I finally found a naturalpath dr who could identify and treat the parasites I had acquired in India 2 years earlier.

December 2014

We had just moved to Oregon, and were living with the Hooley’s. They were away Christmas weekend, so we had a family Christmas, but it wasn’t really our home. After a year of discovering and dealing with various food allergies, I finally did food-sensitivity testing which resulted in my list of foods to stop eating getting even longer. If I had taken a pregnancy test on Christmas day, it would have been positive, but I stayed in denial for 2 more weeks before coming to the conclusion that either something was very wrong, or a baby Lioness was incubating.

December 2015

We have 2 little girls! and our own house! I’m getting to a rhythm of making milk while caring for two kids. Now Duane has a new job too! We’ve had some big transitions in our lives, especially in the month of December!

The post December’s Past appeared first on The Baha Mama.